Romeo is an idiot... and other random ramblings (Dattilo)

-First of all that was a cheap shot by chandler. How dare you call me a fair weather fan, never have i been called such a thing. 1. How could any Cleveland fan be a fair weather fan dumb ass? I'm pretty sure the stadium is sold out every game regardless of the fact the browns can only muster 2 winning seasons since 1999. Never heard of jumping on the bandwagon of a shitty team... dip shit. 2. I said i was not going to post about the browns, didn't mean i was going to stop posting about other Cleveland teams/players that deserve mention. The way the browns are playing, they do not deserve my time or praise.

Before i give my thoughts on the game, i want to discuss a few observations i made before the game even began

-The ravens are a bunch of whiny little pansies. Did you see that they sent tapes to the NFL, because they believe the Browns were purposely trying to hurt McGahee, since they accidentally gashed his eye. First of all, McGahee had a damn visor on. If i wanted to play dirty and hurt his dumb ass, i would go for a part of his body that wasn't protected by any gear. Maybe stomping on the balls? Second of all, this is the same Ravens team that consists of a bunch of thugs, a guy who threatened to murder someone, and a guy who did murder someone..... And they are whining about a poked eye. Baaahhhh Waaaaah, this is all i have to say to the POS ravens :

-For the tribe fans, have you noticed they managed to finish the season at .500. This is pretty much a disappointment for the whole year, however this team was once 20 games under .500, and they managed to finish at .500 and they actually at one point had a winning record within the last week of play. Mark my words, the tribe will be back next year. This is how an Eric wedge team plays without any expectations... they actually do well. Next year they are going to be picked to place third in the division, and then bam they are winning 95 games. They were pretty much the best team in the AL central the past two months, the only problem was they were too far in the standings to do anything. They won all these games despite the fact they traded CC and Blake. Next year is the year i am feeling it. They will have a solidified rotation with Lee coming back, Carmona will be back (he was starting to get back to his old self at the end of the year), not to mention Westbrook will be off the DL, and hopefully he can stay healthy next year. They need to solidify their bullpen, but i believe they finally found their closer in lewis, so we no longer have to deal with blowoski determining the fate of tribe in the last inning. As for the lineup, wedge needs to find a way to get shoppach and vmart playing in the same lineup every day. If this means moving one of them to first, then so be it... Garko is expendable. Hopefully hafner finally gets back to his old form, because if so, then watch out! Lastly, sizemore had a solid year, and most experts believed he had a hell of a year, but i know he can do way better than that. I expect him to hit .300 next year, there is no reason why he shouldn't. Tribe in 2009!

Now my thoughts on the game:

-DA sucks, and romeo is an idiot, its pretty simple. I do not understand what the hell is going through Romeo's mind. Does he realize he is going to be fired this year if they do not at least go 8-8? Romeo made huge mistakes this week. 1. He publicly states that quinn will be getting more reps.... This obviously is inside DA's head and screws with his confidence. 2. He decides to start DA.... Why would you start a QB who has already sucked, and his confidence is at an ultimate low especially after you publicly state that his backup qb may be taking over soon. 3. During the game instead of passing the ball, romeo and chud elect to run the ball every damn play.... To me this makes no sense, if you were going to run the ball the whole damn time, what the hell was the point in keeping DA in there? This further screws with DA's mind, by sending out the message that he sucks so much, that you are not even going to let him throw. 4. He proceeds not to take DA out of the game even when he is sucking ass. Let me remind you that this is vs the bengals defense, and the browns generated approx 5 takeaways for him. 5. By allowing DA to remain in the game, this forces romeo to start him next game, since they won. All you are doing is delaying the inevitable romeo. DA is going to be eaten alive by the giants, and then you are going to be forced to bench his ass. This is why this victory was bitter sweet. It was nice to finally get a win (1-6 including preseason), but now DA has to start another game. If romeo was a smart coach and had some balls, he would start quinn after the bye week.

-I agree with chandler, BE's dance was horrendous. If this dance was done in cleveland, then it would be somewhat legit, because cleveland is at least the home of the rock and roll hall of fame. Oh wait, didn't chandler already say this? Yes he did, despite the fact that was the same exact thing i texted him during the game. Plagiarism anyone? Why don't you learn how to use your

own material chandler, thanks.

- The defense looked solid, but who the hell wouldn't look solid playing against Fitzpatrick under the center. Who? Exactly.

-This game was further proof that bengals fans are fair weather fans. Did you see how many people were in the stands? Please, if you are a bengals fan, please do not try and tell me you have always been a fan, and you went to every game. Every bengals fan tells me this, and yet somehow when they start playing shitty, we all tend to see many more open seats at paul brown stadium. Hopefully they continue to be fair weathered (which they will), so the citizens here in southwest ohio can go back to the glory days when the browns game weren't blacked out for the bengals games.

-Lastly..... Who Dey? We Dey bitches, and so far the Ravens, Giants, and Titans are "Dey" as well.

-Dattilo

A win is a Win? - Chandler

Well the Browns WON today!!! Great right?? Well for me it was a bit bittersweet for a few reasons.
1. It means that Dattilo will still be contributing to the blog, and his fair weather fandom will not be exposed just yet.

2. It gives RAC yet another excuse to subject Cleveland fans to another shitty QB play as he will have we won with him QBing argument. Seriously RAC should be charged with cruel and unusual punishment. Its just not fair. We won in spite of DA not because of him.

3. It also means that RAC's seat got a little cooler going into the bye week, Lerner make a call and force him to play Quinn. Seriously its the GIANT FUCKING pink elephant in the room, make it happen.

On to some game notes...

If Palmer had started today I think we would have been 0-4.

I do not like that Andra Davis' playing time is being cut down. I only saw him in there on maybe 50% of the downs. What in the world is the NFL's best player doing on the side lines? Yet another reason why Cleveland struggled today. If you wanna win put DAVIS IN!

Eric Eazy-E Wright, played great today I thought except...HOLD ON TO THE BALL.

--Loved seeing Harrison get more plays. While nothing explosive, it was nice to see him get some touches. His first drop was almost a killer. Fortunately for him, penalty on the Bengals.It only took the Browns organization 3 years to realize the talent he has....hmm...makes you wonder.

--I still saw a tremendous amount of undisciplined resulting in several offside penalties. Leonard, have you played football before? Falls on coaching a bit.

--I saw a lot of bump and run coverage today. Chad's declining but TJ is no slouch. That was nice.

--I saw Wright get his head around on a play ... for once.

--I saw McDonald do the same like it was second nature ... head on a swivel. McDonald had a very good game.

--Terrible clock management in the first half. Use the timeouts RAC. Jeesh.

--I said last week that I saw Hall make a play that was better than any single play I've ever seen from Wimbley. Make that two.

--I think our run d has improved significantly. Rogers is a beast although sometimes runs himself out of plays.

--BE, that was possibly the worst TD celebration I have ever seen. At least it would have made some sense if it was in Cleveland due to the Rock Hall being there. Roddy White does a backflip last week and you do a nerdy air guitar...LAME!

--Dumbass is TERRIBLE! He looked pathetic against an even more pathetic defense. Just awful. Seriously how many more inaccurate passes are we going to have to see? Just bad, I dont even know what else to say.

--Mike Adams is a great backup. Big ups to our entire D on getting turnovers. Huge key to the game.

--We should be scoring more than 20 pts against an 0-3 team without their best player and they have 5 turnovers. Lewis outside of the first drive was almost ineffective gaining a 2.2 yd per carry after the first drive. Wright and Harrison once again show they are more effective yet get less carries....ummm....Again why aren't players being rewarded for great performance????

--It's time to loosen up and let the offense rip again. We converted a 3rd and 35 last year! DA was playing loose and with nothing to loose. He needs to somehow get back to that. Somehow someway since it is becoming obvious that Quinn will never play with RAC as the coach of this team.

--Throughout the game I was amazed with how bad our QB play was, did I mention that already??

--WTF was up with Sanders jawing on the sidelines? Oh it must have been how off target that dumbass's pass was.

--Wimbley got a sack...sort of. Bit of a weak sack if you ask me. Where is the rookie Wimbley at?

--Watching dumbass try to run is hilarious. I could have scored on that rollout when he tried to put it in the end zone.

--I swear I wrote this article and not self hating Browns fan Datillo.

--I dont even know what else to write. A win is a win is a win I suppose but not satisfied with it.

Bye week this week folks, but we'll still be active.

-Chandler

Its the 2008 CLEVELAND BROWNS!!!!! WOOOO!!!!! - Chandler

So what if we lost all of our preseason games? Who Cares, Its the PREseason!!! So what if we looked terrible against the Giants on Monday Night Football, it's the PREseason. Wait til the regular season BABY!!! We WON 10 GAMES LAST YEAR!!!! YEAH!!!!!! WOOO!!!!!!!!

-Fast forward to Opening game-
So what if we looked terrible against the Cowboys, that's probably the best team in football, who cares wait til next week. It doesn't matter that it was at home, we have a few injuries and they have to work the chemistry back in swing man!

-Week 2-
So what if we lost the Steelers, they're one of the best teams in football. Braylon missed 3 weeks he'll get back on track next week!! Browns will be fine and go in and beat a terrible Baltimore squad with a rookie QB. We won 10 GAMES last year, Browns in the PLAYOFFS!!!WOOOO!!!!! YEAHH!!!

-Week 3-
We gotta fire RAC, and Bench DA its all over and time for next year. This season is over.

Morale of the Story- PRESEASON matters. A switch does not turn on once the regular season starts and you have to play well in the preseason. The fans are too quick to announce a superbowl title and too quick to jump off the bandwagon and think everything is doom and gloom.

I for one and tired of excuses as to why we played bad against some of the best teams in the league, you HAVE to Beat the BEST to be the BEST.

Week 3 analysis- EARTH TO RAC, its called an adjustment, once again learn how to use it and after the second free 7 pts DA gives up, its time to bench him for poor play. Man up and make a decision. Braylon Edwards, Catch the BALL! Chud run the ball. Three simple steps would have prevented us from losing that game and the dreaded 0-3 start. ?Very simple and I am done explaining the poor coaching. It might be time to bench RAC for poor performance. I don't know what else to say, it was pathetic to watch and our team is better than this and our fans deserve better than this. My optimism is at an all time low going into the Bengals game. I am not in favor of starting DA, I want the future and savior of the season Quinn to start and throw an accurate pass to our WRs and TE. DA has not shown that he can do that regularly. Our coaching staff has not done their job to scheme well and make sounds adjustments. I am not sure on firing of RAC, I think you have to let him finish the season. If we finish 4-12 than its time for him to go and I want a proven coach in here like a Marty or a Cower. Wow embarrassing loss. Should have won that and we should be 2-1, I blame the coaching for not benching a bad QB and DA for throwing drive killing INTs and a certain Mich WR who cant perform the rudimentary function of his job/position.

-Chandler

In Game Blog (Dattilo)

Ok so the game is over, and all of my thoughts during the game, will be below after my response to a few of chandlers weak attacks toward me:

-First of all Chandler, I bet you feel like a dumbass predicting the browns would win 28-0. You realize the Browns were 0-2 before the game, and they were playing on the road vs. a 1-0 team with enough confidence since they haven’t lost yet, and they had a bye week to prepare for the game? Idiot.

-I also love how chandler thinks he is sweet because he makes “crazy” predictions. First of all you are not a hard ass, because you make stupid ass bold predictions that are sure to go wrong. The only reason chandler makes these “crazy” picks is because if he finally gets one right he can brag about it all day, even though we all know that he is copping out, because he knows that if he gets the prediction wrong, its ok, because it was a prediction that was outside the box. It is kind of like five or six years ago when Chad Johnson, errrr Ocho Cinco would guarantee a win every game (this is when the bengals were lucky to get 2 wins), so that one time he finally wins a game, he could talk shit about it, and if they didn’t win….. Who gives a shit, because the bengals suck ass. I think Chandler and Ocho Cinco should get a room together, so they can be morons together.

-And yes, I did cry after Jose Mesa blew game 7 in the world series vs the marlins in 1997. My question is, who the hell didn’t? I am not afraid to admit it. I was in 4th grade at the time, and I lived in Italy, so the game was on in the morning before I had to head to school. We all know how the game goes, Jose Mesa is a piece of shit and blows the game, I start crying, and then my mom doesn’t allow me to go to school, because I couldn’t stop. I still have nightmares from that day, because of you Jose Mesa. I don’t want bad karma on me, so I hope something only mildly terrible happens to you every day of your life, like getting stuck in a traffic jam! Go to hell. So, Chandler try to resist mentioning the fact that I cried after the 97 world series for the fifth time, its only funny the first time, and frankly I don’t give a shit, I know you cried too.

-Lastly this has nothing to do with chandler, but god I hate the ratbirds so much. They are living proof that I believe god hates Cleveland sports. I don’t know what the hell Cleveland fans did in the 60’s to piss god off, but it’s been downhill since then. Since those glory days, Cleveland has witnessed Jordan’s shot, the drive, the fumble, red right 88, piece of shit Jose mesa, Art Model moving the team, and the tribe’s recent choke job in the ALCS. Im sure I am missing a lot more. This is all topped off with the fact that the Ratbirds actually won a super bowl, and that criminal piece of shit Art Model was able to raise the Lombardi trophy. I almost puked on the TV when I saw that. That may have been the most disturbing thing I have seen on TV in my whole life. I never have been more disgusted with sports than that time.

Alright here were my thoughts during the game:

7:42 1st quarter: I practically have just missed half of the first quarter, because the bengals decided to overachieve today and go into OT with the Giants. This is another reason to add to my list on why I hate the bengals. I hate the fact im forced to watch bengals games, because the fair weather bengals fans have been out of hiding, because they get giddy off of 8-8 seasons. Your team sucks ass, and you all aren’t true fans, please go back into hiding so you don’t black out Cleveland games anymore… thanks.

6:50 first quarter: The ravens offense is already driving. This game shouldn’t even be close. The ravens offense is terrible. Flacco is their QB. Who the hell is that? When I see that name, I think of shane falco from the movie “the replacements.” If the browns lose to this guy please cut everyone on the defense and go from there.

3:50 first quarter: The browns just gave up a 3rd and long, same ol defense. What is it about third and long with the browns? Why the hell do they go John Elway prevent defense mode, and allow the defense to get a first down off some crap post pattern near the sideline every damn time? Also, with all the criticism on the defense, why hasn’t anyone talked about the shit poor play of the linebackers? Yeah andra davis racks up tackles every year, but every tackle is after the fact the offense gains at least 5 yards. Also linebackers, if you are going to blitz, how about try and not to run into the blocker. Try avoiding the puny shit RB who is picking up the blitz, and actually chase down the damn QB!

3:20 first quarter: Brandon McDonald with a pick! Where the hell have you been little guy? Is this the browns first interception this year? I didn’t get to see the pitt game so I don’t know.

End of first quarter 0-0: Before the quarter ended, the announcers commentated on a quote by Crennel. Apparently after the steelers game, he said he was happy with the effort, and if he sees that effort every game he will be happy. This isn’t pop warner football Romeo! Next thing we know Romeo is going to be giving up blue ribbons to his players for good sportsmanship.

Beginning of 2nd quarter: TD browns! It was 3rd and 9 and the Ravens brought the house. Great call by Chud to call for the screen. That’s the first time ever I have seen the screen pass work for the browns like that. Nice drive, this is the type of drive they needed to get their swagger back, that they lost sometime last December.

12:40 2nd quarter: 3rd and long another first down for the ravens. Part of the reason the blitzes are always being picked up, is because the Browns always show the damn blitz. If they would actually disguise their blitz maybe the o-line would have a much harder time picking up the blitz. Just some food for thought Romeo.

12:00 2nd quarter: Browns answer right back with another INT. This time it was pretty much because of stupid flea flicker call by the O-Coordinator of the ravens. Horribly executed, thus leading to another easy Browns INT.

11:00 2nd quarter: Ravens have the ball with great field position, because the undisciplined browns team decided to convert a few penalties inside their own twenty, then dave zastudl (the punter spelling?) decided to punt the ball off the side of his foot.

The ravens time of possession is twice the amount of the browns. This is not good since our D-line is probably a thousand pounds all together. They are going to be worn out if Derek Anderson and the Browns offense can’t get a long drive going anytime soon

6:40 2nd quarter: TD ravens, the ravens running game just ran all over the Browns D. Missed tackles all over the place. Pitiful. I can tell the Browns D is already sucking wind too. If DA and company go three and out, I guarantee you that the Ravens offense will score before the half ends.

5:45 2nd quarter: Braylon caught a pass for a first down! He actually caught a ball! Yes I am going to be sarcastically giddy every time he makes a reception until he gets at least 10 in a row.

Just as I type that he makes another catch!!!!!!!!! He bobbled the pass four times before catching it, but it’s still a catch. And now CBS just showed a compilation of Bralyon’s dropped passes. I think that deserves an “LOLZ.”

1:00 minute left before the half: Dawson nails the FG to go up 10-7. They wasted great attempts to score a TD however. DA nearly was picked on 2nd down, and then was sacked right away on 3rd down. What the hell happened to our great o line from last year? Come on Joe Thomas; how the hell can you have a sophomore slump as a lineman?

Ok, so the Ravens are forced to punt with 40 seconds left, and Crennel called timeout so the browns could have time on the clock to be able to score. So, what's the first play call when the Browns are on their side of the field? A HB draw. Please tell me why you called timeout before the ravens punt, if you are just going to run the ball. Now there is only 26 seconds left, and they aren’t even close to being in the endzone.


Halftime: Browns didn’t score… not surprised. Chandler has been texting me and saying DA is terrible. For once I am going to agree with him. He got on a little hot streak last year because he was an unknown. After at least 8 games, every NFL team has footage of him, and they know all his tendencies. This is pretty much why he sucks ass now, and he is what he is…. A backup QB. Mark my words, if the browns offense doesn’t get going (win or lose), Brady Quinn will be starting after the bye week.

Beginning of the half: INT DA, mainly his receivers fault for allowing the defense to pop the ball out of his hands. Now the Ravens are in the redzone.

11:43 3rd quarter: Ravens take a timeout, but are on the browns 1 yard line. There is no way they are not scoring a td on this short drive. McGahee just ran all over the browns to get to the one yard line. The browns offense is giving this game away. This is ridiculous. How the hell did the Browns go from a top ten offensive team last year, to being tied for dead last in every category so far this year?

11:13 3rd quarter: TD ravens winning 14-10 now. This 2nd half honestly might be the season changing moment for this Browns team. If they can pull the win off on the Road after looking like shit for most of the game, then I think they will turn it around for the rest of the season. If they lose, this season is done, and Romeo will be fired. It’s pretty simple, let’s see how they respond to this adversity.

10:31 3rd: Please put quinn in now. DA doesn’t realize passing to guys that are double covered in the middle of the field isn’t a good idea.

Pick 6 td ravens, please god put fucking Brady Quinn in.

3rd: Anderson overthrew a wide open Winslow, are you surprised? Forced to punt now the Ravens are on the browns 35 yard line. The ravens are fired up, this game is over, Ravens win.

Ravens score a td, as I said earlier this game is done. Once again im done blogging, I have a feeling I am going be done blogging every game by mid third quarter. In fact, I am done blogging completely if they go 0-4 before the bye week. It’s not worth it to take time out of my day to blog about these pieces of shits that call themselves a NFL football team. So, 0-4= me not blogging till cavs season at least.

-Dattilo

If I were the Browns GM....

Well after the pathetic showing of the Browns against the ratbirds today I realized that I am smarter than RAC and Phil Savage together. Thus I am starting my pledge/takeover to become the GM of the Browns to pull this franchise off its rear and into Glory. So here are a few things that I would do if I were the GM of the Browns right now:

1. BENCH DUMBASS DERREK ANDERSON!!! Seriously how many ints does this guy have to throw before RAC wakes up? Is Quinn a better QB, I do not know but it is time to find out, wait I do know, YES! YES Quinn is a better QB than DA. Actually you know that big fat guy chowing down on 3 hot dogs having guzzled down 15 beers already sitting in section 15 row q seat 19? He is a better QB than DA. RAC might be a better QB. Listen to trade offers for DA and if by some act of God you get a team to offer a Gatorade cooler for him take it.

2. Draft the biggest meanest shaved gorilla to play either D-line or Oline I could find with the first pick in the draft. the rest of the draft should be focused on finding some physical lbers that can actually make a solo tackle. Seriously our lbers get abused more than Tim Couch in his rookie year.

3. Fire RAC and take over as HC of the Cleveland Browns. I could fire these boys up more to play on Sunday since a few million dollars and 70 thousand + fans cant seem to do the trick. I would also not show allegiance to vet players that no longer help the team Ala Willie McGinnest. Hall would start, Orr would see significant playing time, and the most obvious move to me that for the life of me I can not seem to figure out how RAC does not see this: I would Start Harrison over Jamal Lewis. Lewis can not find a hole this season and its time to bench him for poor play. All Harrison does is get first downs and move the chains, all Lewis does is gain 1.8 yd per carry. Seriously RAC it is called an adjustment learn on to do it.

4. As the HC/GM I would give Stallworth a choice to make: either man up and stop faking it and earn your paycheck or get cut form the team.

5. See if the Cardinals would trade Braylon for Fitzgerald or Bouldin straight up. Braylon if you are reading this I want you to do something for me really quick. Look down the the things attached to your arms...so those? A nub with 4 fingers and a thumb? They are called hands...figure out how to use them.

6. Bring Joe Horn in for a look.

7. Begin looking for a Rb, maybe a beanie wells or one of the 7 rbs that play for USC, they all seem to be pretty good. Draft one and let them play. young explosive rbs are the new keys to winning games.

WOW! Amazing 7 simple steps that this organization can not seem to figure out to turn this team into a winning team! Why am I not making millions of dollars?



Also on a side note, Dattilo is a quitter and texted me during the game to tell me he would no longer be contributing to this blog b/c "its not worth my precious time to type about a loosing team...no faith blow in the wind fan. I honestly think I saw him with a Cowboys jersey on...disgusting. Please leave comments to tell him how much of a quitter he is.


- Chandler

Weak 2 analysis & Predictions

Before I begin let me apologize for making you sit through that garbage about Vince whinning like a little school girl with a skinned knee about not having power and cold showers. Seriously what a wuss man up already. This is a football blog not a whinny emo Vince Young blog.

Now back to what is important:

First off and for most...STOP WITH THE FIRE RAC ALREADY! Romeo isn't out there dropping passes and throwing drive killing INTs. RAC isn't out there running into defenders, or throwing uncatchable balls. Yes he made a bad call in Dallas by going for the FG, yes his clock management skills have been horrendous. A different head coach doesn't result in better players. That being said at the end of the year then maybe you start to think about it if improvement is not seen. He won 10 freaking games last year and got an extension and its week two, give it a rest.

Derrik Freakin' Anderson or DA for short (dumbass). Its time for cleveland to wake up and realize that DA is what he is, a ONE tool QB - A strong arm. Its time for Quinn to come in and show what he can do. He is the future and everyone knows it. Most of you know I hated the move for Quinn, I hated Quinn coming out of college, thought he was an overhyped sissy. But he is tyhe futuire of Cleveland and everyone knows it, get him in there and stop this infatuation with DA. DA is so inaccurate its pathetic. DA single handily kept us out of the playoffs last year and lost against the Steelers on Sunday night. If he doesn't throw those picks we get at least 6 more points through FGs and win that game 12-10. Is it a pretty decisive win? No but a WIN is a WIN! DA suck a fatty for ruing my entire week and play-offs last year, you are now my new official most hated Browns player of all time joining the short list which includes Trent Dilfer (god just thinking about him makes my blood boil and skin crawl, I am a firm believer in that bald QBs are shitty QBs sent buy the devil himself to ruin teams, and of course Joe Andruzzi the worst OG to ever wear a jersey. On a lesser hate scale is Kelly Holcomb.

The loss to the steelers was inexcusable and a terrible performance all around except on defense, they did FANTASTIC except for letting Willie Parker get 100 yds. I was so bummed by that loss that I thought about crying for a few seconds like Vince did when the Indians lost and thus couldn't go to school b/c all of the kids would see him crying and know what a wimp he is.
DA cost us that game and his time is over, DONE in Cleveland far as I am concerned. At least Couch could beat the steelers.

Where has our Awesome Oline from last year been? There were no holes for Jamal to run in yesterday. Note to O-line...GET YOUR ASS UP AND BLOCK SOMEBODY!

Shaun Rogers is a beast, Williams needs to get his act together.

Harrisoon needs to see the field more, period. I dont care if he sucks at pass blocking he is good at getting first downs and that is the bottom line. RAC get over yourself and play him, make a freaking change for once in your coaching career if a player isnt getting it done.

Now on to this weeks prediction:

Of course the Browns roll into to Baltimore and get a win. I predicted 3 sacks last week and was right. This week I am predicted 2 sacks and two ints, one returned for a TD, yes a bold statement. Vince is too conservative to ever make a bold move cotton. Its not even a close one as the Browns win 28-0 that's right a shut out. McCalister cant cover Edwards at all and breaks out of his shell for 2TDS, start him in fantasy I am telling you. Winslow will get a TD and either McDonald or Pool with get a TD. Joe Fago or whatever his name is will have 8 completions for 47 yds. and a QB rating of 22. DA will throw at least one INt, the only thing he is consistent at doing. I think Jamal has his best day of the season running for 80 yds or so. Harrison has to get more PT, he has to. Stieny looks like he may be out but tucker may be in, so better run blocking worse pass protection. Cribbs probably out so only one superhero on the field today (other being big baby rogers!) , and one solider (Winslow)

Can we cut Stallworth already I am sick of his pansy ass corrupting my team. A STRAINED QUAD?!?!? Are you serious grow a pair already. I have never heard of a more wussy injury in my life. You are coming dangerously close to my most hated list here. Joe Andruzzi & Trent Dilfer I HATE you!

- Chandler

Having No Power Sucks........Prediction (Dattilo)

I live off campus(not living in university dorms, for u geniuses) at Miami University, and we had no power for about 4 days straight (starting sunday). Some students still do not have power off campus. President Hodge canceled classes on Monday, but then elected to have classes on Tuesday despite the fact that every student living off campus had no power at all, so we all were unable to do any of our work, or study at all. His decision led to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_8FeCr2ZQI&feature=related. Yes that it is a protest, and yes that is a protest right in front of his house. Anyway having power really sucks ass, and due to that I obviously did not get to watch the browns game sunday night. Turns out that was a good thing, because i heard they looked like shit. Anyway, here are just some of my observations/things i learned while i had no power:

- I loled when i was able to go on campus and read chandler's prediction post on the steelers game. How did i know the fool would pick the browns to win sunday night? In Chandler's eyes the browns should have been 90-0 with five Superbowls in the past five seasons. My favorite part of his reasoning in his pick was the fact that the browns have a "d-line." Uhhhh did you watch the cowboys game dumbass? Apparently giving the QB 10 seconds to throw is plenty of pressure, its just when they give up 12 seconds is the problem (this is what chandler probably really believes in).

-Cold showers suck ass. I learned this when we didn't have power. I do not know how the hell people lived in the old days without power. I don't think i would have ever bathed myself, i wouldn't be able to handle the cold water every damn time. I would go a whole fall/winter smelling like i took a swim in a pile of shit.

-Not being able to watch football sucks ass. We wait all year hyping up the NFL season, and then bam the power goes off and takes away the only good thing about sundays. Not only did i not see the browns game, but i didn't get to see any game. I can't believe the power took away one whole day of football in my life. Why couldnt this have happened during the WNBA season?

-Miami University obviously doesn't know how to handle a power outage crisis. The university finally gets their generators running on campus, and powers up their main buildings which include the library and dorms, because of this they think its ok to have classes. Apparently students who live off campus (and when i say off campus, im not talking about way the fuck out in the corn fields, i am talking about across the street from the library, which is the cutoff from being "on campus", and being "off-campus") are a pile of shit in Miami University's eyes. How the fuck are we supposed to do our HW without power at our houses? Miami University's response: "use the library." Hmmm ok thanks assholes, but how the fuck do you expect us to use the library when every damn student is in the building, taking up every outlet, because guess what.... they don't have any power either!!!!!!! I hope you have a better plan next time this happens.

-People are idiots when the power is off. This situation was further proof of how dependent we are on having power. As soon as the power went off, everyone decided to act like primitive fuckheads. Every bathroom i used smelled like piss all over it, because the idiot either peed all over the floor, or decided not to flush the bathroom. Apparently no power= no flushing toilets. Every gas station i went to had a line of at least 40 cars, which was ridiculous, but funny at the same time, because this dumb bitch tried to cut in front of the line at the gas station i was at, and every single car honked at her ass, and she freaked out, then peeled out. She got owned by a bunch of townies.

Apparently i either forgot what i learned, or i didn't learn much, because i really do not have any more to say about the power outage. I guess i am already taking the power for granted again.

Anyway on to my prediction. I can't really say much, because i didn't get to see last game, so i don't know what the hell was wrong with the browns. I heard the conditions were bad, so that probably had something to do with Derek Anderson's shitty performance, and the defense actually holding someone to 10 points. I also heard Romeo decided to kick a FG when he should have went for a td. What the hell are you doing Romeo? Do you realize you are done this year if you don't get at least 8 wins? So far its looking like your fucked. Go take a fucking motivational speech class, and learn how to get your players fired up for christ sake. As for the game at Baltimore this week, i think the browns will win. No this isn't chandler making the post, this is Dattilo saying the browns will win. I really have no reason why, because robaire smith is out for the year, and the defense sucks ass, but the Ravens offense is so terrible, and the Browns can't really be that bad coming off a 10 win season. Can they? So, here is to the browns winning 24-10 this week. There is no reason they shouldn't go to their bye week with a 2-2 record, and hopefully after that they can recoup. By the way i am 2-0 in my predictions so far, and yes im counting the steelers game, because i def was picking the browns to lose that game. Any reasonable person would after learning/knowing the fact that the Browns haven't beaten them since tim couch played.

-Dattilo

Browns VS. Squeelers Preview (Chandler)

Ok so we all know that Romeo Crennel is 0-6 against the Steelers, We actually haven't won against them since 2003 Sunday night game where Tim Couch defeated the steelers 33-13 in front on a nationally televised game. That being said at least one of the games over the past three seasons the Browns have been up going into the fourth quarter only to see the win squandered by the defense .

This is their first meeting since the Browns almost prevailed in Pittsburgh last year but this season are some noticeable differences. Number one being THE BROWNS ACTUALLY HAVE A D-LINE!!! The Browns defensive line anchored by Shaun rogers are licking their chops waiting to punish the pathetic o-line of the steelers. The steelers gave up 43 sacks last year, more than double of the Browns! Big Dumb ass Ben will be running for his life as Rogers straight abuses the steelers wet paper bag they put in front of him. Seriously their line resembles something of the o-line the Browns had in 1999. Not a single one of their players would start for the Browns. Marvel Smith couldn't hold Joe Thomas' jock strap. This is the firs time since the Browns return in '99 that the Browns have a decidedly better O-line and D-line than the steelers. I am predicting a big day and a bounce back performance from our pass rush as we get 3 sacks and a lot of pressure on their QB. Although I am sure that Doom and Gloom Dattilo will think/say otherwise, do not listen to him as he is a self hating Browns fans. He actually cried when the Indians lost the '97 world series and was too afraid to go to school as all the kids were going to mock him.

The steelers do not have a CB on their roster that can hang with Edwards, that being said he needs to get his head on straight and realize that he gets paid MILLIONS to CATCH the FOOTBALL! That being said with wimpy Stallworth hurth from a stretching exercise and prolly wont play this week again over a vag strain Edwards will be consistently double teamed. Expect a big game out of Winslow.

Winslow punks porter
Uploaded by marcuspowerade

The Browns will have to control the clock better and to do that we will have to run the ball. Jamal Lewis is a go and does not seem to have any ill effects of the hamstring injury...Because he is a man and not a lil girly man like stallworth. I will forgive Stallworth for his prissy hangnail injury when he makes a big play and catches a TD for us.

It looks like Cribbs will play this week thankfully. He always has a field day against the Steelers, expect at least one return TD for him.

On defense we need to get a pass rush going and with rookie Alex Hall expecting more playing time this game I think the steelrs oline provides a nice team to do it against. With Sean Jones out for probably a month, I am thanking god that Pool is back. I do not want to see Nick Sorensen playing at all. That being said we need to stop Willie parker and I think we can. However I think Heath Miller will have a good game.

When all is said and done I think the Browns make it a rivalry again and embarrass the Steelers to the tune of umm lets say 33-13 on the Sunday Night Game. Dattilo will probably say the Steelers will win, but thats because he is a wuss and only listens to the national media. remember its a lot easier to go with the crowd and say the steelers will win, thus win the Browns win they can act happy, but if they make a pact with Satan or something and the Steelers win he doesn't have to hear it from everybody because he predicted the loss...wimp. He is afraid of criticism. Excuse me for rooting for my team, I did expect their pass rush to wake up and to some extent it did, or did you already turn the tv off and not see the hits on Romo, to the tune of 13 stitches in the chin??

-Chandler

In-Game Blog Week 1 (Dattilo)

4:15 pm: They just announced Cribbs isn’t playing today. That sucks, I don’t understand why the Browns can never keep their players healthy. Who the hell is their strength coach? Does he teach them how to prevent injuries, or just how to be meat heads?

13:28 1st quarter: Every time Anderson drops back for a pass I cringe and pray he doesn’t throw an interception. He is the only guy who is going to hold back this offense this year.

Next Play: Just as I write the above statement, the idiot fumbles the snap on 3rd and 1. Way to go dipshit.

6:40 1st quarter: Cowboys just scored their first TD. This is going to be a long game, they just marched down the field and drove the ball right up the asses of the Browns D. Looked like a typical Browns defense to me. Allowing first downs when it’s third and long, giving the QB all the time in the world to throw the ball, and allowing the RB to have his way. If the Browns offense doesn’t keep them in the game, then this game is over, and this in game blog is already pointless. Im really glad savage made all those trades for two D linemen so they can put a lot of pressure on the offense (sarcasm if you can’t detect it).

Chandler just texted me and said the browns pass rush will wake up. He is an idiot, enough said.

4:26 1st quarter: Braylon had a wide open pass for a TD, perfect pass by Anderson. I can’t believe Braylon didn’t catch it, but yet I shouldn’t be surprised because Braylon always drops the easy passes. In order for him to catch a ball, Anderson has to place the ball where Braylon is forced to make an acrobatic sports center catch.

3:32 1st quarter: I wish I hated Joe buck so I could make fun of him, but his delivery style is just so damn solid, I don’t know much about Aikman’s announcing ability yet, so I may have thoughts later.

:45 1st quarter: Jamal Lewis looks like a pud right now. That hamstring is still bugging him. He looks like Romeo Crennel running the ball right now.

End of first quarter, browns are on the cowboys 10, let’s see how they screw this up after the commercial break.

Miller lite commercial: Can someone please explain to me how the hell Miller Lite won those trophies at the beer world cup? Did they win the “at least it tastes a little better than a pile of shit” category? If so, then it still doesn’t make sense, because it tastes just like a pile of shit.

1st and goal: Wasted fade from Anderson to Braylon. I would have run the ball here.

2nd and goal: Now they run the ball with Romeo Crennel errrr Jamal Lewis. One yard gain, they are forced to pass for 3rd and goal now.

3rd and goal: Pass interference on the moron, pac man jones! I think he thought Braylon was a stripper.

1st and goal: run for nothing by lewis. The browns now have had 4 tries to get 5 yards to score and they haven’t.

2nd and goal: TD Anderson to Winslow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Winslow has been the most consistent today so far. It took five plays, but its all good a TD is a TD. Pretty solid drive, it took about nine minutes. Hopefully the drive gave the D plenty of rest so they can redeem themselves with their joke of a performance last series.

Apple commercial: Anyone getting sick of these commercials as well? You have the obnoxious nerd guy representing the “PC”, and the unemployed guy (this actor can’t act worth a shit btw) act representing apple. I think we get the point, Apples are for people who don’t want jobs, and want to have fun with their computer and take cute little pictures and edit it. OMG SO MUCH FUN!!!!!

11:45 2nd quarter: Flag on the cowboys, I shouldn’t say this so early, because I know im going to jinx it, but I am shocked the Browns haven’t been called for at least 80 yards worth of penalties by now.

Nvm I didn’t jinx it, joe buck decided to by explaining the browns were the third most penalized team least year, but haven’t given up a penalty yet, thanks idiot I didn’t know what 0 penalties for 0 yards on the stat box meant.

9:48 2nd quarter: TD Terrel Owens. Once again Romo had all damn day to throw to a wide open TO. Im pretty sure I saw Romo on his cell phone talking to Jessica Simpson while he threw the ball.

Microsoft commercial with Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld: Ok, I love Seinfeld’s humor, I loved the show, I understood his jokes in this commercial, but seriously what the hell were they trying to advertise? If bill gates weren’t in the commercial I would have no idea they were trying to advertise for microsoft. If this is Microsoft’s answer to the obnoxious nerd, and the unemployed douche bag from the apple commercials, then they are just throwing money out the window, because that commercial made my eyes bleed.

8:47 2nd quarter: Braylon just dropped another easy pass for a first down. That’s 3 already. Start throwing at his damn knees Anderson!

6:25 2nd quarter: Ok remember when I said I was going to jinx the browns about penalties? Well they just received their 4th penalty since I made that comment, please excuse me when I go punch myself in the teeth.

4:45 2nd quarter: paging shaun rogers, paging corey williams, paging kamerion wimbley…. Where the hell are you? Its getting to the point the Browns D is getting lucky if romo doesn’t complete a pass.

2:18 2nd quarter: Browns get their first sack! But guess what even when they get their first sack, they still get a flag. Waste of effort, and I am willing to bet the cowboys are going to score on this drive.

Do I even need to tell you the cowboys scored this drive?

Half time Cowboys 21 Browns 7: I can tell you right now this game is over. The cowboys get the ball to start the 2nd half, and they will march down the field like they have been doing all game. The boo birds are already coming from Cleveland fans, and the browns deserve it. The offense isn’t going to keep them in the game either, Braylon is dropping every pass, and other than Winslow, no one else is stepping up and playing well enough.

Start of 2nd half: If romo doesn’t complete 100% of his passes this drive, it’s a fluke, or he is loling at the browns and punking them on a few pass plays.

Just as I said that, romo completes a lonnng pass to TO, but he was flagged for pass interference, like I said… fluke incompletion.

3rd and 15 to start the half for the cowboys: Lets see how this works out, the browns always give up long first downs, always waste their effort from the first two downs here it goes…….And the d-line finally puts pressure on romo forcing him to throw out of bounds. Miracles do happen I guess.

6:38 3rd quarter: TD cowboys 28-7. This game is done, thus im done with the blog for the game. I will just comment sparingly if I see something else that pisses me off.


Ok, well now that im done being pissed off, I guess I will give my final thoughts on the browns 28- 7 loss.


-You probably think im negative…. And yes, why the hell not? It’s Cleveland sports! Enough said. I challenge you to find me one reason ever to be positive about any Cleveland franchise. One thing! I bet you won’t think of anything.

-When it was 4th and 2 on the cowboys 14, why did Romeo decide to kick a FG? They were down by 3 tds, and his dumbass wants to kick a FG. Either Romeo was giving up because the defense sucks and wouldn’t stop the cowboys anyway, or he was trying to cover the spread. Both are possibilities.

-I have decided Troy Aikman is an atrocious announcer. He announced the game in glee when the cowboys were moving down the field, and his love affair with their rookie felix was getting very old. I was waiting for Joe Buck to respond to an Aikman comment by saying, “what, oh sorry troy I can’t understand you with when felix’s penis in your mouth the whole time.”

-I expected the browns to lose this game not going to lie. Its not because im negative about Cleveland sports, but the cowboys are projected to go to the superbowl, and the browns are a borderline wildcard team maybe. The cowboys looked damn good, even with an atrocious browns defense. Not only that, but this was the first time the starters for the browns were actually able to play together in a game like atmosphere. Hopefully Crennel hires a motivational coach (since he lacks those skills) and takes some notes on how to get this team motivated next week for pitt. Their next three games are vs pitt, cincy, and bal, all are winnable games, especially the last two. Pitt is a bit of a stretch since the last time the browns beat them was when tim couch was their qb (gulp). If the browns bounce back and finally beat pitt, it will give them a load of confidence, and I can see them going 3-1 into their bye week after the Baltimore game. But right now they just need to take one game at a time. Hopefully they fix their defensive problems, because if they don’t then this is going to be a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng year. That’s all I have for now, im too pissed to even think about the game any longer. The only good thing out of this Sunday was the fact the bengals sucked too.


-Dattilo

BTW, I hope you don’t base your betting habits off chandler’s pre game predictions, because you will be going bankrupt by week 3 lolz.

Dallas's Pregame #5, or the Cowboys last 7 on 7 drill bfore their season fiinally starts. (Chandler)

Ok so after taking the adequate time to let the shock wear off from the schlacking provided by the cowgirls set in I would like to weigh in on how I felt about that "game".

Point number 1:
I thought they were supposed to make the defense easier for these idiots? If so then why did I see McDonald searching for help or a reason as to why safety Mike Adams wasn't there on T.O.'s TD? Why were the Browns secondary consistently out of place and seem lost? What the fuck is so hard about playing defense!!!! See the BALL HIT THE BALL!!! Wow what a concept! Our defense seemed like after we went down by two scores had zero intensity, pride or interest in playing the rest of the game.

Number 2:
Our LB crew as a whole is terrible. I thought it was the LBers, not the D-Line which was the issue today on the pass rush as well as the run defense. There just isnt that much talent there. I consistenly out of place or late getting to the hole. On one instance D. Jackson was late getting to the hole and whiffed on the tackle against Berber (he really wanted nothing to do with tackling him at all) which resulted in a TD. Had he made the tackle and been in the hole on time it would have been no gain. Where the FUCK is Wimbley? I know I see him double teamed on most plays, but honestly I am sure Merrian and Ware are as well and they find ways to make plays. I didn't notice him on any plays today at all except 5 yds down field. HE needs to wake up or perhaps the experiment is over. I see now why we drafted Bell, our LBers are terrible. They were the biggest issue today.

Number 3:
Braylon Edwards- seriously bro see the ball into your hands. You had 4 yes thats right F-O-U-R drops today!! In ONE game! Great receivers like Marvin Harrison, Moss, Carter, Wayne, Rice don't have 4 drops in a season. I personally would like to offer you myself to throw you the football from right now until game time next week. Didn't you have a commercial depicting you catching balls from a machine with a blind fold on??? If he had caught the TD pass, or the other 3 first downs, this would have been an entirely different game. Way to go JackASS! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nrk9I1jhJ9U

Number 4:
Romeo Crennel - You quit on your team and your fans. I am sorry but that FG was completely uncalled for. By dropping so when there was still a hint of a chance of a comeback you sealed the deal in the beginning of the fourth quarter. That helped us in no way possible. In calling for this the fans now had to give up and the players as well. A complete classless move on the head coach. Seriously pathetic.

Number 5
Why did we ever get rid of Brian Russel? He was the second best player on the Browns' defense behind Andra Davis. We have looked worse since his departure. He was like our Bob Sanders, yea he meant that much to us, we won 6 games that season with Jason Fisk, yes thats right , Jason Fisk as our NT. Dumb Move.

-Chandler

Crennel's Pre-game Speech (Chandler)

I just received a text from someone inside the Browns’ locker room, and he was kind enough to share what Romeo Crennel had to say to his charges before they took the field for pregame warm-ups: “All right people, we got two hours 'till game time, let's all gather 'round. I'm not much for giving inspirational addresses, but I'd just like to point out that every newspaper in the country has picked us to get our asses handed to us this afternoon. The local press seems to think that we'd save everyone the time and trouble if we just went out and shot ourselves. Me, I'm for wasting sportswriters' time. So I figured we ought to hang around for a while and see if we can give 'em all a nice big shitburger to eat!”

Here's to the Cowboys eating a nice big shitburger!

-Chandler

Week 1 Predictions (Chandler)

37 hours and 13 minutes until kickoff and its time for a prediction.
(ESPN slant's America's team) The fucking Cowboys are coming into Cleveland. The media will have you believe that the cowboys are on a one way fast track with destiny to the super bowl. How on earth will the Browns ever survive the massive butt whooping that tony Homo and comany are going to provide? Well lets break it down shall we:
the cowboys offense will provide a tough and early test for the Browns supposedly new and improved Defense beginning with their high priced new dline additions. The Cowboys present a tough challenge for the new Dline additions to become accustomed to their new roles in the 3-4 defense. However they will be going the likes of Flo Adams who has more false starts than any other O-lione player in the league, and Leonard Davis who got a ridiculous contract when not even the Arizona Cardinals wnated to keep him. Sorry not impressed with their offensive line and I am predicting 3 sacks by the Browns. Shaun Rogers will eat up at least two blockers just due to his gravity pull alone.

Wimbley will be in Homo's face all freaking day helping out our young and inexperienced secondary, which will be tested by the Dallas recievers. Now lets talk about their recievers, T.O. how fucking old is he now, isn't he a memeber of AARP? Brandon McDonald will be covering him most of the game with Safety help in which having Mike Adams start will actually help as he has better cover skills than Brodney Pool. Sean Jones is going to have a Pro Bowl season, heard it here first folks. With Dallas's 3rd, 4th, and 5th reciever out I am not too worried about any other recievers. The biggest issue will be Witten. He is an elite TE in his prime and not sure who will EVER cover him...oh wait Andra Davis! The best ILB int eh league will blanket Witten all freaking day. He will also break Romo's leg, and make out with Jessica Simpson while Romo is crying in the corner. Ok seriously I am sick about talking and hearing about the god damn cowgirls.

On to why the Browns will prevail:
the Browns finished their season strong with a win. they improved their defense, they have Andra Davis, No one...let me repeat myself so you can understand...NO ONE can cover Braylon Edwards. I'm sorry Pacman doesn't scare me unless he's out for a night on the town. He hasn't played in almost two years. I can't wait to see Ware planted on his ass on every play by the unquestioned best LT, no wait BEST OLINE player in the history of the universe, Joe Thomas. the Browns have the best Oline in the league and they will protect Anderson all day to throw to K2 (what LB is going to cover him?), and Braylon Edwards. Jamal Lewis will run all over the cowgirls to a tune of 120 yds and a td.
The Browns are represented by the best fans in the world making it impossible for dallas to even stay in this one.

Browns win Big 31-10.
A modest review by a modest fan.
-Chandler