Future Coach (Dattilo)

Let's not waste our time writing a whole blog predicting this week's MNF game. I can tell you how the game is going to go. The Browns will do well for the first 3 quarters, then choke. Either the defense/offense will show up and the other will look like shit. The defense truly is a joke, however I feel like they are due against a struggling Bills team, and Brady Quinn is probably due for his first horrible game. Might as well get it out of the way right? Speaking of defense, i think its time to quit this 3-4 bullshit. It obviously has not worked for the past four years now. I can't believe i am saying this, but the D-Line is times better than the linebackers. Willie McGinest is old and a joke now. He should not see the field. Andra Davis only makes tackles after they give up at least five yards.



Anyway, I am done ranting about this clowns. Lets move on to the future. Who is going to be our new coach next year? I developed a simple formula the Browns should follow while searching for a new coach. Here it is.



1. Do not hire a college coach: This obviously does not work as we know with Butch Davis. Although props to him for getting the Browns to their only playoff appearance. Anyway college coaches are just simply out of touch with NFL. They can not own the lives of young men like they can do at the college level. Look at Pete Carrol, Spurrier, Saban, and yes even Butch Davis. All great college coaches, hell some of the guys i listed are considered gods at the schools they coach at. All of these gentlemen, along with many more college coaches who gave the NFL a try, have failed miserably. So please do not try to push for Jim Tressel as our next coach. I hate OSU, but i am willing to admit he is a great college coach. He would not survive in the NFL though.



2. Do not hire a hot shot coordinator: It is hit or miss when you try this, and obviously the Browns have missed with Romeo. Romeo is clearly a better coordinator than head coach. Coordinators do not need to motivate their players. All they need to do is be smart about the game, and Romeo definitely is, but he couldn't fire up a bunch of seven year olds after they went on a sugar rush. Dick Lebuea is/was a great D-Coordinator and he was a shitty coach for the Bengals. Ken Cameron was just the same. Look i realize every coach has to start somewhere, however since it is hit or miss, the Browns can not afford that anymore. Everyone is getting sick of losing, and i am willing to bet Cleveland is going to continue to be one of the poorest cities in the US until the Browns win a Super Bowl. This is just not to save the self-esteem of the city, but also the economy!



3. Hire a proven coach!: The first two approaches did not work for the Browns, so here is the only choice. You can not go wrong here, you are hiring a guy who has proven he can win, and knows how to find ways to win.



With my formula i have created a list of guys i would not mind seeing as the next Browns coach. (list is in no particular order)

• Marty Schottenheimer: Some might think he is still bitter after he left Cleveland, but he is clearly over it, because i remember him saying at a press conference he would love to come back to Cleveland. This guy is definitely a winner, he has taken all his teams, except for the redskins (because Dan Snyder only gave him one year) to the playoffs. I know some of you might say, "well he plays Marty ball in the playoffs, and can't win the big game." First of all, you can't blame the guy for Earnest Byner fumbling the damn ball on the one yard line or a Browns defense falling asleep and allowing dumbass Elway march down the field. If that did not happen we would be talking about Marty being a Hall of Fame coach, instead of talking about how he can't win the big game. Second of all, we do not even have room to bitch about how he coaches in the playoffs, because we have only seen the playoffs once since 1994! So, lets get there first, before we bitch about it. Besides, wouldn't it be a perfect script for Marty to come back to Cleveland and finally winning the big game, and finally bringing a title to the city of Cleveland. I just feel like this is fate!
  
• Bill Cowher: Before anyone says he is the enemy, lets not forget the guys roots. He played for Cleveland, and his also started his coaching career as a coordinator (under Marty) in Cleveland. We already know he knows how to win, and not only that, but the guy bought a house in Strongsville (or was it Solon). The guy is only 51 years old, so we all know he still has that big itch to coach, especially after taking a two year break. The only thing the Browns have going against him is that Jerry Jones is probably going to offer him including the kitchen sink, after the Cowboys choke again once this year.


• Dick Vermeil: I do not know his position on whether he wants to come back and coach or not, but this guys is a winner. He has been to two super bowls, and a winner of one of them. He is an offensive minded guy, so he would fit in right away with the type of players the Browns already have. Give this guy a good D-Coordinator, and the Browns will soar to the playoffs. Also, wouldn't it be hilarious to see him cry after Browns loss, or win. He definitely is the biggest cry baby in sports other than Roy Williams, but at least we would see a coach with some kind of passion for the first time since this team has come back.

That's it, Go Browns, beat Buffalo!

-Dattilo