Steve Heiden Might as Well be a Cyclops (Chandler)

So the Cavs have made NBA history tonight as being the first team to ever win 9 games in a row in which they demolished and demoralized the competition by 9 or more points in a row. I mean congratulations but doesn't that sound like a bogus award to you? I mean its like giving someone an award named Chandler for posting the most about the browns consistently after work while in two states, living in a house for the last 4 months. I mean what difference does the 9 points man? Why not 10 points, 15 points, hell why not 50? I get it, they're good! I mean who actually sits around and discovers these " milestones"? I mean not to sound bitter, I like hearing about my teams so any bit of news is welcome but this just seems hollow to me.

Anyway, on the the topic at hand. I've been thinking about doing some sort of awards and Mr.negativity himself (Datillo for those of you who were confused) told me it would be too hard and boring to do every week...waaa...waaa..waaa..He is just simply "TOO BUSY" for his audience. He went on to fawn some more but I stopped listening. So I have decided to do something unorthodox and think outside of the box and start the awards near the end of the season, hell why not.

So here it is, The Steve Heiden Award for unheralded offensive player of the game goes to...Steve Heiden! His catches in the game against the Titans were instrumental in keeping us from getting shut out. I think he caught his passes because his disability of having eyes so close together enables him to have superhuman hand eye coordination.

On Defense we have the Andra Davis is God's gift to football award which goes out to Dqwell Jackson for his superior LBer play on Sunday. He is quietly leading the league in tackles as his instincts make up for the lack of size and the INT didn't hurt either....

In Mary Kay's latest article seen here:
http://www.cleveland.com/browns/index.ssf/2008/12/schottenheimer_says_coaching_c.html

She talks with Marty about his coming to Cleveland as the head coach. And guess what FOLKS? He says that he thinks he is done with head coaching in the NFL but does not rule it out for the right price, instead he alluded to wanting a front office gig with none other than Bill Cowher as the head coach of the Cleveland Browns! "Asked specifically by a caller if he'd consider becoming Browns head coach again, he said, "I don't ever say 'never' if I don't have to but I don't see it (going back to coach the Cleveland Browns) as being likely."

Well I would be up for that as it seems it would be the best of both worlds involving both Cleveland legends. I think it would be a great have Cowher scowling on the sideline with Marty in the front office.

Here's what I think Lerner's last conversation with ole' Opie (Phil Savage since Datillo doesn't think anyone gets the reference to Opie from the Andy Griffith Show played by Ron Howard; He has no faith in our readers) should be:

Lerner: "So Savage I hear you actually want to hire Iowa's head coach to become the head coach of the Cleveland Browns"
Opie: "Yes he is a great friend of mine and I think he brings the knowledge and intensity to become successful at the next level!"
Lerner: "Get the FUCK out of my office! YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!!!!! He is on the hot seat at freakin' Iowa for Christ sakes! You idiot, I am going to call in and get a REAL gm in here to clean up this mess, not some two bit college scout."

Least that's the way I see it happening....

-Chandler