March Madness and . . . Michael Vick? (Beck)

Alright, so it’s that blessed time of the year again, when casual fans enter into office pools and the stupidest person, typically a female, when it comes to sports ends up with the best bracket because they liked the teams’ names/mascots/colors. That’s right, it’s finally March Madness! The past few weeks, so slow with sports news after the Super Bowl that ESPN picked up A-Rod and steroids yet once the calendar turned to March there’s been little word on the A-Roid front thanks to the World Baseball Classic and, now, college basketball.

Need I remind you that college basketball determines their champion in the most suitable way possible: A PLAYOFF! College football could learn a thing or two, but that’s for another blog ...

Still, I’m next to positive that Chandler and I will be posting frequently over the next couple weekends and almost all of our posts will assuredly have to do with March Madness, so in that spirit I’ll start mine off with that topic and then segue into something that is developing and equally intriguing.

As for the Tourney, I just finished my official bracket, and it is, dare I say, “en fuego.” You want upsets? I’ll give you upsets, starting with the trendiest upset in the whole bracket, #12 Arizona over #5 Utah. Arizona has three dominant scorers in Jordan Hill (18.5 ppg), Chase Budinger (17.9 ppg), and Nic Wise (15.1 ppg), though they’re fourth scorer only averages 6.8 ppg. I’ve had the pleasure of watching Arizona this season in the Pac-10, where they’ve been shaky at best, but I think these three monsters will be too much for Utah. Arizona squeaked in, and they’ll make the most of it.

Too bad Teague and Wake Forest will mop the floor with them in the 2^nd round.

I’d love to pick #12 Northern Iowa over #5 Purdue, but Purdue finished the season strong and won the Big 10 tournament. Northern Iowa over-achieved on their way to the MVC crown, and the real Northern Iowa will stand up and lose in the first round. Washington is a tough team, I don’t care who the fuck you are, and I’ve got Isaiah Thomas (no relation to the beleaguered, former-Knicks coach/exec), Justin Dentmon, Jon Brockman, and – the best name in the tournament this year – Quincy Pondexter taking out UConn to make the Elite Eight, but lose to Memphis.

#11 Utah State will take care of the injury-plagued #6 Marquette Golden Eagles, who will not be able to overcome the loss of point guard Dominic James. Toney Douglas will strap #5 Florida State, the most under-rated team in the ACC all year, on his back into the Sweet Sixteen. In the same region, the combination of Scottie Reynolds, Dante Cunningham, and Corey Fisher will lead Villanova to upset wins over Duke and Pittsburgh to the Final Four. Lastly, in the South Region, #12 Western Kentucky proves they are a good team against another injury-riddled team, #5 Illinois, then lose to #4 Gonzaga, who knock the stuffing out of #13 Akron. #11 Temple, who took the A-10 tourney by storm led by Dionte Christmas, knocks off #6 Arizona State and James Harden – a Pac-10 team not worth the hype – and Michigan shows they really can beat good teams as they knock off Clemson. Oklahoma cruises to the Elite Eight against UNC, pitting Blake Griffin against Tyler Hansbrough, but UNC rolls all the way to the ‘ship.

And since it’s so early on the East Coast when I post this, I’m saving my biggest upset for last so no one takes my brilliant idea: #14 North Dakota State over #3 Kansas in the first round.

You bet your butt-cheeks, mister. You heard that right. North Dakota State, in their first year of eligibility for the NCAA Tournament, took over the Summit League on their way to a 26-6 record. Kansas lost too many players after last-year’s championship, returning only Sherron Collins as a key contributor from the 2008 Champs, and they won’t be able to corral the Bisons’ leading-scorer, 5’11” guard Ben Woodside, who averaged 22.8 ppg, 6.3 assists per game, and shot 42.7% from 3-point range.

The guy is a stud and the next incarnation of Stephen Curry, though I hate how much every college basketball analyst is looking for the next Curry in this year’s tournament. If Davidson could’ve taken care of its business during the regular-season and their tournament, Curry would still be this year’s Curry and Davidson wouldn’t be playing in the NIT. Either way, NDSU comes out of the gate firing, they play with abandon, and Woodside lights it up. Remember, the pressure is on Kansas because they are SUPPOSED to win this game, and NDSU can play like they have nothing to lose. And if there’s one thing I ever learned, you NEVER trust someone who has nothing to lose. And even if Kansas does what they’re supposed to do, I’ve got Da’Sean Butler and West Virginia tearing them apart.

Enough with all that shit. Now, on to the latest attempt at forming a professional football league that will rival the NFL! Bring out the UNITED FOOTBALL LEAGUE!

I’m sure if you heard anything about this league, then you’ve heard that Mark Cuban was involved in the formation of the league. While that may have been the case, it’s not now. The UFL was formed by William Hambrecht, a Wall-Street investor (uh-oh) and former minority owner of the USFL’s Oakland Invaders, and Tim Armstrong, a former exec at Google who is now the CEO of AOL. While Hambrecht’s experience as an investor on tanking Wall Street and involvement with another football league that became defunct in its battle against the NFL, the UFL just might work. Many forget that the USFL won an anti-trust lawsuit against the NFL decades ago, but they’re compensation was a measly $1 and the league folded. Thank God for the rest of us, because Jim Kelly and Steve Young moved on the NFL and had some great seasons.

The UFL is slotted to start their inaugural season in the fall of this year, before two other football leagues in the works have a chance to open for America: the new United States Football League and the All-American Football League. The UFL will play games on Thursday and Friday nights to avoid scheduling the same time as the NFL and the NCAA, but still clashing with high-school football on Fridays. While I would never be footballed out, having football on five nights out of the week might be too much for other people, and I’m sure they’ll cut out this UFL nonsense before they cut out their beloved Browns or Buckeyes. Either way, the UFL has already done a decent job at establishing itself.

Four teams are slotted for the 2009 season: one in Las Vegas, one in Orlando, one in New York, and one in San Francisco. Las Vegas will be a great venue for a professional team, as the Las Vegas Outlaws of the defunct XFL were the most profitable franchise of that disastrous league. Orlando is a tough call, as three NFL teams already occupy the Sunshine State – Miami Dolphins, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Jacksonville Jaguars – as well as the beloved college football Gators, Seminoles, and Hurricanes. Still, Florida is a football-crazy state, and Orlando could succeed. New York might be the worst decision in the way of creating a fan base with two NFL teams in the metropolis, but unlike the Giants and Jets who play in East Rutherford, New Jersey, the UFL wants their NY franchise to play in the city-proper, occupying Citi Field in Queens, where the New York Mets will begin playing starting this spring. Lastly, the franchise in San Francisco might have a greater following if the York family can’t score a deal with the San Francisco city council to build the 49ers a new stadium and the team bolts for Los Angeles. Or, the UFL team could be better than the 49ers, but it’s going to be hard for anyone to top the theatrics of 49ers head coach Mike Singletary.

However, when one checks the UFL web-site (http://www.ufl-football.com), one learns that the Las Vegas team will share time in LA in the “premiere season,” while NY will be in Hartford for a few, and the SF team might journey inland to Sacramento. Hey, it’s a young league, maybe they need a break. Plus, the league is looking to expand to Salt Lake City and bank on Utah’s recent success in the BCS as the impetus of expanded football interest in the state, as well as Monterrey, Mexico, becoming the first professional league to have a team stationed in the land of tacos and drug-wars.

The UFL is working on fan-interaction, which is why these four franchises have yet to be named. The league allows fans in each location to nominate names for the teams. So if you got something, say something.

Even better than all that, the UFL has managed to lure washed-up NFL head-coaches to their league: New Orleans Saints under-achiever Jim Haslett will lead in Orlando; former-offensive coordinator Ted Cottrell will lead in New York; former-Giants choke-artist and bad-attitude Jim Fassel will coach in Vegas; and the rant-machine himself, “they are who we thought they were” Dennis Green will have the pleasure of ranting some more in San Francisco. Coincidence that they placed this volatile head coach in the same city as another volatile head coach? Looks like the UFL is just looking to grab headlines. Think Singletary’s bat-shit crazy? Just wait for Denny Green’s press conference.

However, I hope you’ve read this far into the post wondering where Michael Vick will factor into all this, and I won’t you leave your sports-knowledge orgasm hanging: if the NFL refuses to reinstate Vick in time for the 2009 season, there are strong rumors that Vick will sign with the UFL. How ‘bout them apples? An infant league with cartoons for head coaches will now have a felon as their most recognizable face. Couldn’t possibly be any better, right? If they can’t get headlines because of their games, they’ll surely grab headlines every time PETA pickets outside Vick’s game. Any press is good press, right?

While there don’t seem to be any major rules changes from the NFL, which ultimately ruined the XFL though they branded the league as being “X-treme,” and player signings beginning in July 2009, the UFL has a snowball’s chance in hell of actually providing stiff competition against the NFL. The season is slated to begin in October and end by November 12, with the UFL championship being played around Thanksgiving. Sounds like it will be a blip in the middle of the NFL season and right at the same time that high-school football playoffs heat up. That being said, this will be wonderful entertainment to watch the ship sink, and I’ll be catching it all this coming fall on the Versus network. Who’s with me?


- Beck