This week John C. Odom, the kid who was traded for 10 major league bats, recently killed himself in a Drug OD. At first glance many people are shocked by the trade and turn their outrage onto the two teams involved in the trade, The Laredo Broncos and The Calgary Vipers. However when ones digs a bit deeper into the story, the degrading villainous act no longer seems so sinister.
John C. Odom was released by The San Francisco Giants during the Spring Training in 2008. He then signed with The Calgary Vipers of the Golden Baseball League (Stupid name because vipers do not live in Calgary, just like the AZ Cardinals...dumb). However due to Canada's lame ass socialist country/laws Odom was unable to enter their cesspool because of a criminal record, a 1999 conviction for aggravated assault when he was a minor. Yea that's right, Lil' America didn't want our criminals. Something he did as a minor prevented a full grown adult from playing baseball for their shitty team.Which brings us up to the trade, the Vipers are no in a sticky situation. They have just signed a
player in which he can not play for. The team is umm caught with their pants down. Thus they have to figure something out do with the guy. This is where the trade comes in. They then found a taker in the Laredo Broncos, in which the Broncos offered to trade a player for Odom, but the guy refused to move to Calgary. Ok, so they then offered $1000 cash straight up for Odom. However the scumbag Vipers thought this made their franchise look financially unstable, as if anyone actually cares about their lil "franchise" or their team. So finally the geniuses worked out plan that fit both sides needs, and looked much better in the public eye...they Vipers traded Odom for 10 yes TEN baseball bats. A net worth of $665! Well I dont know about you, but to me this is the perfect solution.The Flip Side
However, they completely forgot to consider the other parties involved in this trade, the bats. Lets take 'Ol Rear Engine Frisby here, who has been with Luany Sanchez since he was in high school. He has helped Sanchez to a team best .319 avg, 18 homers, 71 rbi's, and a .557 slugging avg. What is Sanchez supposed to do with out his bat? Without his normal bat, he saw his numbers dwindle and production come to a hault, now his big shot at going to AA were ruined and his future in baseball is in question. Following the trade, Ol' Rear Engine got so depressed that he committed himself to a wood shop where he was whittled down into a box of toothpicks.Or did anyone consider Ron Balone in this trade? In which this bat was responsible for helping Arnoldo Ponce to his best year yet with a .316 avg and scoring 94 runs. After their separation Balone started to go through through Pine Tar withdrawal as his new player didn't use pine tar as Ponce did. His withdrawal symptoms made him limp and useless to the Vipers and was quickly trashed, like a discarded hot pockets box. Shame really because he still had 3 seasons in him...
So what is the lesson learned here? All this tragedy is Canada's fault. If it wasn't for the neo-anti-Americanism this cataclysm might have been avoided. If Canada had only taken the $1000 instead of subjecting other people to their devilish country and not worry about their image we might still have Ol' Rear Engine Frisby, Ron Balone, and John C. Odom with us.
FUCK YEA
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